Corporate bollocks: there is no i in team – er…yes there IS

Every team needs an I

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There it is…

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David J Rodger – DATA

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Photo: Man Throws Dog

Flying Dog

Man Throws Dog – Click Full Size

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David J Rodger – DATA

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Humor: I found $80 in my jeans, the kid in me said buy Nerf guns and candy…

…but the adult in me said:

“Buy Vodka, Nerf Guns and Candy.”

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David J Rodger – DATA

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Photo humour: Window Error Message

This window cannot be found

Window error message – http 707 file not found

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David J Rodger – DATA

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Photo humour: The Real Tom and Jerry

Victor Muris

Photo humour:  The Real Tom and Jerry – source unknown (please advise)

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David J Rodger – DATA

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UK humour: Mr Cadbury met Miss Rowntree on a Double Decker

Joke

Bertie Bassett

Mr Cadbury met Miss Rowntree on a Double Decker.

It was just After Eight.

They got off at Quality Street.

He asked her name. ‘Polo, I’m the one with the hole’ she said with a Wispa.

‘I’m Marathon, the one with the nuts’ he replied.

He touched her Cream Eggs, which was a Kinder Surprise for her.

Then he slipped his hand into her Snickers, which made her Ripple.

He fondled her Jelly Babies and she rubbed his Tic Tacs.

Soon they were Heart Throbs.

It was a Fab moment as she screamed in Turkish Delight.

But, 3 days later, his Sherbet Dip Dab started to itch.

Turns out Miss Rowntree had been with Bertie Bassett and he had Allsorts!

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David J Rodger – DATA

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Photo humour: Cat tries to catch snowball, epic #FAIL

#FAIL

Ginger tom cat tries to catch snowball #FAIL

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David J Rodger – DATA

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Zombie Valentine Card

Christmas is over, next commercial stop: Valentines

Zombie Valentine Card – source unknown, advise and I’ll credit

Okay guys. It’s time to start sweating already. What to do for the love of your life come February 14th?  It’s 5 weeks away. Much less when you remove the weekends of game playing, carousing and hangovers.

Well. Maybe it’s time to set the tone with a card that says it how it is. Dark cynical humour and the truest of all statements.

“Almost”.

Who is number one in your world?

Mum? The chap between your legs?

Or is it YOU?

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Anyway, enough of that. Here’s a commercial spot:

LIKE ZOMBIES?

If you enjoy things that are living that should be dead, the creeping dread of the Cthulhu Mythos and a killer thriller of a plot, then you should LOVE the novel DOG EAT DOG.

Available in paperback or Kindle

Paperback : from LULU & kindle: US ($), UK (£), DE (Euro)

DOG EAT DOG { novel } takes place in the near future, after the Earth has been devastated by a viral pathogen unleashed when a corporate cargo hauler crashed into the atmosphere; breaking up as a fireball across the sky, it showered Southern Europe and North Africa with a deadly rain of infected debris. Ten years later, over seventy percent of the human population is dead and only a handful of cities survive intact. So called ‘Living Cities’. The vast majority of human habitation is abandoned to the undying creatures left mutated through a brutal twist in the infection. Greed and corruption are left hovering over this bleak and brutalized domain and a cosmic horror is now free to infiltrate the remote abandoned corners of the Earth. Above this, the orbital colonies spin within artificial gravity wells, impartial observers, unaffected by the shocking events below. Within this mix the lives of two survivors collide: a renegade intelligence agent and a cold-blooded master of violence, shaping events with their virulent hunger for money and desire to carve their name onto this new world.

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David J Rodger – DATA

Viral Video – YouTube Gold: We’re Trucking!

We’re Trucking!

My mate came into work yesterday with a video clip on his mobile phone from when he and his brother were driving a rental truck over the weekend. Also in the cab was my mate’s very young nephew.  What follows is a few seconds of Internet YouTube Gold me thinks.

Click to View

CLICKING THIS IMAGE WILL OPEN A NEW WINDOW IN YOUTUBE

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David J Rodger – DATA

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Photo humour ¦ Stormtrooper Husbandry

Stormtrooper Husbandry

Stormtrooper Husbandry - source unknown – please advise and I’ll credit

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David J Rodger – DATA

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Photo humour: Schrödinger’s Assange

Schrödinger’s Assange

In the context of Julian Assange’s latest chapter of his life, being granted political asylum by the Republic of Ecuador and being effectively confined to a property in London.

Schrödinger’s Assange. Source unknown – please advise and I’ll credit

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David J Rodger – DATA

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Photo: Mysterious man levitates cat

Magic Pussy

Magic Pussy – Source: Impact Lab – click for full size

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David J Rodger – DATA

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The Call of Cthulhu

Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn

Source: unknown, please advise and I’ll credit

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Horror Humour: what happens when you cross pre-Christian paganism with a classic children’s story book meme?

Mr. Wicker Man

Mr.Wicker Man – source unknown

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YOU MAY ALSO ENJOY

• Mr Men Books – store

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David J Rodger – DATA

Great Cthulhu gets political – spoof of iconic US campaign poster

Cthulhu Mythos – an alternative point of view

CHANGE: As Soon As The Stars Are Right

Source – The Real Cthulhu

Credit for Poster goes to The Real Cthulhu – see Facebook page

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Alfred E. Neuman has another point of view

In the mind-state of “messing with the Mythos can only lead to trouble” here’s the mascot of Mad magazine providing his own spin on things.

Click for full size

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David J Rodger – DATA

Humour ¦ Old man too frail to dig up garden and plant tomatoes writes to his jailed son

Sharing a smile

If only his son was there to help…

An old Italian gentleman lived alone in New Jersey. He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.

Dear Vincent, I am feeling pretty sad because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot..  I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days. Love, Papa.

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A few days later he received a letter from his son:

Dear Papa. Don’t dig up that garden. That’s where the bodies are buried. Love, Vinnie.
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At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologised to the old man and left.  That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Papa, go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.  Love you, Vinnie.
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I wish this one was true. Apparently it’s a variation on a skit from the 1970s British TV situation comedy called “Porridge”.

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David J Rodger – DATA

Regret [ri-gret] – galactic definition via Star Wars #Wallpaper

Those WERE the droids you were looking for

Click for full size

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David J Rodger – DATA

Health & Safety Executive try to tackle the fetid quagmire of the Cthulhu Mythos

Evocation Instructions

In much the same way that the Health & Safety Executive try to sanitize the experience of going through a plane crash by portraying generic happy looking people calmly going through the actions necessary to (preserve dental records for identification of charred and shattered bodies). This little piece of good advice appeared on the Interweb.

I’a Y’gs-Othoth!

Fha’gnu Zy-d’syn!

Si’n Si’ra S’alk!
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Source unknown - please advise and I'll credit

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“Hear the call of the Elder Gods”

“Do not attempt to enter higher dimensions”

“Stand ready at the portal to the dominion Beyond Space.”

“Raise right arm and chant the name of your many-angled deity.”

“Prepare self for the coming of the end of days. Smart/Casual.”

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David J Rodger – DATA

Photography ¦ Evolution, an image by Sydney based photographer Jonathan May

A leash must be worn at all times

Image by Sydney based photographer Jonathan May - all rights reserved

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This photo of a dog walking a woman on a leash is one of many surreal, quirky and playful images created by Sydney based photographer Jonathan May.  As some folks pamper their pets more than their partners, it could be construed as a future glimpse of the relationship between human and domestic animal.

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David J Rodger – DATA

Mathematical proof: 7 x 13 = 28

This is a classic with Lou Costello “clearly” demonstrating that if you multiply 7 by 13 you get to 28.

Don’t believe it? Watch the video and you might think it’s actually true!

Enjoy:

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David J Rodger – DATA